my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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