she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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