Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
