Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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