what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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