No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
