hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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