time to smoke my breakfast
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
