she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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