I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
