My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
