I wish I could punch you in the face.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
