ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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