You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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