He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
