your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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