I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the condom got lost in my hair
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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