Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Did you send adult things?

(281): View more from Texas

Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year

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(319): View more from Iowa

Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?

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(571): View more from Virginia

On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like

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(704): View more from North Carolina

he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..

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(315): View more from New York

I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.

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(432): View more from Texas

This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.

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(971): View more from Oregon

Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard

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(248): View more from Michigan

The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German

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(651): View more from Minnesota

He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.

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