When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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