Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
