thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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