But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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