Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
