sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
