maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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