dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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