Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
