I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize