You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Use "feeling words"
Yay
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
