he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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