I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
