umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
