Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
