this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
