i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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