would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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