I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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