is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
