I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
