I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
