Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
