she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
