Swine flu. Run for my life!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
