yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
