That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
