Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
