Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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