it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
