At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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