I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
